Friend Inventory

Just to clarify, I am a total extravert and love spending time with people. On the Clifton StrengthsFinder2.0 quiz we did here at Vigilant, I found out that I have 4 of my top 5 strengths in Relationship Building. Contradictory to my extravert-ness ball of sunshine attitude, I can find many interpersonal interactions exhausting as I find it very important to be wholly invested with everyone I contact. 

So, I am going to pull a classic Harlow Alumni move and tell you I went to MUN’s Harlow Campus. Ultimately, I took a 4-month hiatus to travel Europe with people from my Commerce Class.

Something I found really interesting was I did an involuntary ‘Friend Inventory’. What this means is that I found out who I really care about and who really cares about me. To elaborate, I have 142 contacts in my phone that have transferred from all of my cell phones starting in junior high. When I was in Europe, my phone contacts wouldn’t sync with my computer contacts. So, over the course of those 4 months, I only had about 20 contacts in my computer: my parents and brother, my boyfriend, and a couple of my “MUN friends”. The rest were my friends from high school.

When I came back, I realized that these are the people who are really important. These are the people who I care about and who care about me.

Once I realized this, I found that some of the people who I cared about may not have been lifting me up as much as I was lifting them, and that it may have been a beneficial relationship for them, but not me. What I mean by ‘lifting you up’ is sending good vibes and having your best interest in mind instead of having other motives. 

Networks are incredibly important. I have learned at Vigilant that working relationships are important and should be structured in a mutually beneficial way. Ultimately, personal/ social relationships should be the same. You are (and should be!) allowed to ‘break-up’ with friends if they are not “lifting you up”. This exercise also allowed me to identify people that I desire to be closer with, which then allowed me the opportunity to reconnect with these people and even make some new friends along the way.

If you are reading this, I challenge you to do a ‘Relationship Inventory’. This can be a gradual thing – if you feel dread when a “friend” asks to re-connect, maybe it is a good time to re-evaluate that friendship.

That’s all for now,

- Kathleen

Kathleen in front of the Canada Gates

Kathleen in front of the Canada Gates